Monday, June 5, 2017

Ego and Soul

As I sit at my desk, looking out the window at the sky that's opened up to let all the water out, and with some time on my hands because little one is sleeping and there isn't much else I can do except give our beleaguered cat some attention, some questions have been bubbling up for me. I'd like to pose them to you, because I'd like to know what your thoughts are.

I've been vaguely aware of these questions for a while, but I hadn't fully articulated them to myself, or done anything to find any answers, until now.

The catalyst that brings them to the forefront is the recent terror attack in London. Three young men with toxic beliefs deciding to do toxic things.

I do believe that if their thoughts were different, if instead of filling their heads with extremism, they filled them with say, kindness, then this would never have happened.

I also believe the thoughts we have that are divisive are a function of ego. Our ego wants to differentiate ourselves from others, and some people take this to extreme levels.

So, we all have an ego. We all have a soul. Some of us are more aware of our ego and soul than others.

Here are my questions ...If the ego wants to separate, and the soul knows we are all one, how does the soul put up with the ego? Do they live in the same space? Where? Will they know each other after the body dies? Is the ego related to the soul? Is the soul just tolerating the ego, like an unpleasant roommate? Does the soul try to teach the ego? What are their respective jobs in our lives?

Please someone answer my questions.

Thank you in anticipation!


Friday, January 27, 2017

What I’ve Learned As A Parent Over The Last Year

Being a parent has come with a steep learning curve. I was not someone who anticipated being a mother. I had not read all the books, joined all the groups, and so on. But that’s OK because becoming a parent enters you into a crash course like no book or website. Over the last year, I’ve learned many new things, most of which I never could’ve anticipated.

Lesson one is that everyone will share their opinions of what your child should eat, and why it’s better than what he does eat. This started happening even before my son started on solids at 4 months. “You’re still nursing?” is a horrified question I heard quite a bit. “How can you be sure he’s getting enough?” This a great way to instill fear of malnutrition, guilt of being an unfit parent, and anxiety about your child’s growth or lack thereof. “Because he’s not hungry,” I’d think. Before I had a baby, I had no idea people cared about whether, and for how long, other people nursed.

Even my new, vegan, self-proclaimed nonjudgmental “mama” friend will surreptitiously sneak in some judgment about his diet: “hey, little guy, eat some of this quinoa and bean hummus and it will take care of all your nutritional needs.”

I’ve learned that people love to be generous and share all their baby things. Before my son was born we received toys, clothes, even a rocking chair for his bedroom. I’ve learned that swaddling is not as important as it’s made out to be. I’d gotten a bunch of organic swaddle blankets before the birth, but when my son came along I had no idea how to swaddle, and being tightly placed in anything only annoyed him anyway.  

I’ve learned that finding a babysitter who’s not in a constant phone trance is not so easy. Every now and again while sitting at the kid’s section in the Iibrary, I’ll come across a nanny who’s genuinely engaged with her charges, but mostly it’s people who are less and less able to pay attention to people rather than the phone in their hand.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that no two families are the same. What’s right for my family might not be right for another family, or the way people think it should be. But I no longer doubt that I know what’s best for mine.