Some Unsolicited Advice

I know I'm fine, but I can't keep my mind from imagining the worst when I get my test results.

Four more days.

Driving to work I imagine what I would say to my manager if I had months to live. Worst-case scenario, stage 4 adenocarcinoma. I know, I'm being a drama queen.

But it could be true. We all kind of do have months to live.

As my manager goes into paroxysms of despair at the news, in my head I hear those speeches and lists people make when they know they're going to die.

I hate those speeches and lists. So damn preachy.

So, I thought I'd write my own. Here goes:

1. Don't be afraid.
2. Stop acting stupid with each other. It's a waste of time.
3. You know the truth. Don't listen to the liar in your head that tells you everything is someone else's fault.
4. Don't let inertia/fear/sadness keep you inside. Get out and do something fun - today!
5. Have a meltdown if you feel like it. Being strong is overrated and often pointless.
6. If someone tells you you're not good enough in any way, they're lying to you. Don't listen.
7. Forgive yourself for everything. Yes ...EVERYTHING!
8. Have gratitude, even when you lose everything. Be grateful you had stuff to lose.
9. Know that the only person you can control is yourself. Other people don't have the same script you're working from.
10. Know that you are perfect and loved (trust me, you are) - even when you feel like your whole life and everything about you sucks.

Number 1 is really the only one that needs to be on the list. All the drama and sadness in our lives comes from fear.

Now go out and make me proud - do something crazy fun and then let me know about it.

Oh - number 11 - Don't keep your light to yourself - share yourself/life with others! 12 ...Don't wait until everything is perfect ...do what you want to do now ...

Comment if you want to add a 13 ...