My new favorite show in the whole world is Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN. She looks back at her old shows and talks about the lessons and all that fun stuff.
She can be overbearing sometimes, pounding her fist into her hand and repeating, “this-is-what-I-want-you-to-
On a recent episode Oprah referred to herself as a talk show host and I thought, that’s true, she’s a talk show host. But somehow it felt like it diminished her. Like she was insulting herself. The label was accurate, on a basic level, but not enough.
Maybe that’s why I haven’t figured out what I want to be yet. It feels limiting. The label sounds so much less fantastic than the way I see myself in my head. For some reason I see myself as beyond all labels and job descriptions.
“Vinnie’s a painter.” Vincent …Van Gogh, that is. See what I mean? It isn’t really saying who he is/was. Van Gogh had to paint, and in the specific, original, art history-altering way he painted. It was in him from birth. It’s more than painting. It’s his truth.
But you can’t really say what you think you are when someone asks what you do.
“What do you do?”
“I shine a bright light on the truth for all beings.”
Should I say that in my next job interview?
“What is your biggest strength?”
“Shining a bright light …”
It would be a sobering interview indeed.
When the soul decides to incarnate, it doesn’t say, in this lifetime, I’m going to be a heart surgeon, a tango dancer, a magician.
It says, in this lifetime, I will work through karmas of past lifetimes. To do that I need to have this specific personality whose traits will be expressed through healing, dancing, fascinating people. I think …is this how it works?
Do we have the same personality in every lifetime? Are we always the same personality but with a different body? Does our body reflect our personality? How do we choose our face? Our legs? Our feet? Why did I choose ankles with tight Achilles tendons?!!!
If we don’t choose these things, who does?
What is it to be the same person in each lifetime?
When we separate into a single light bulb from out of the collective light that is God, are we always the exact same bit of light? Do our light particles change with our experiences from each incarnation?
How do you actualize the traits your soul has chosen into your life’s work?
Why do some people know with crystal clarity what they want to do and other people never know?
Why does a question about labels and job descriptions end up about whether we decide our fate before birth?
Maybe that’s why I can never decide anything. It isn’t, what am I going to have for lunch. It’s, will the energy of the person who picked these spinach leaves seep into my gall bladder, my kidneys, my heart? Leave a lasting impression on my cecum? Will I become a part of the spinach picker? Is he a part of me?
My head’s always in the clouds …which, really, are just collections of water and we are mostly water, so are the clouds kind of the same as us?
I know what I am – I am an asker of spiritual questions!!! I need to know. I need to figure it out. I need to understand.
And I need to share it with you.
Now, to find someone with answers …
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