All is Possible

At the dojo this morning, after meditation, the teacher, Eran, talked about cause and effect, or karma.

He said that in our lives we encounter the same challenges over and over again.

It's because we've reacted to them one way in the past and, when they come up again, we choose to react the same way out of habit, even if we didn't like the result the first time.

What I realized today, when I chose not to react the same way as usual to a person who was overreacting to something I'd said, is that I'd saved my body from getting flushed with adrenaline. From getting into an argument in my own head long after the initial conversation was over. From who knows how much damage I would have done to my body.

I caused myself to not suffer when I chose to react differently from the way I'd reacted in the past.

On another day, my ego might have wanted to prove to the other person that he was wrong, but this didn't appeal to me in the moment. What good would that've done in the end? The same conversation as always. And the other person wouldn't have said to himself, she's right. She's the winner of the argument. He would've continued to argue to prove he was right and it would've been endless. Endless damage to ourselves.

Maybe this is what relationships are for. To point out for each other when our egos cause us to suffer and to allow us to transcend that suffering. And I mean all relationships: family, friends, colleagues, partners, whatever. Thich Nhat Hanh says when you are really loved, you feel free. Maybe when we transcend the ego, and we stop insisting people act the way we want them to, rather than the way they are acting, this is what's freeing. We, they, are accepted as we, they are. And we have to ask, why is it so important to me they act the way I want? What is it I want from them? Why don't I give myself what I need rather than expect it from someone else?

It is truly freeing.

What if life is really all about what is happening on the inside? If we stopped investing in what other people think of us, in how our lives measure up to others' or the way we think our lives should be? Should be for whom? Should our lives be a show for others to watch and judge? What if we stop investing in other people's mistaken beliefs about us and our own mistaken beliefs about ourselves?

What if we think, OK, this person is wrong about me. But who cares? Why should I prove it?

What if we make a habit of recognizing when we're getting worked up over something and choose to stop it, not because we choose to give in to the person who's pushing our buttons, or to our own mind which is always pushing our buttons, but as a means of protecting the body? As a means of having peace rather than suffering. If a relationship is nothing but drama, and you stop engaging, either it becomes a more peaceful, loving partnership with true, mutual understanding, or it dies from lack of drama, food for the ego - dramarexia.

And why does our own mind push our buttons? It's the ego clinging to an identity. I think this and not that, this is who I am, and I'm going to fight for my position. I was right in this fight and he was wrong. I was wronged, wronged, wronged, wronged, wronged! Drop the fight. No one's threatened. We only threaten our own health when we do that. What would go on in our minds if we stopped doing that?

There's so much we could be capable of if we used our minds differently. I once did a meditation where, for a half hour, we chanted, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, while focusing on our heart and if I remember correctly, visualizing the color red. I had an out of body experience doing this. It was amazing. I saw my then-boyfriend and knew what he was wearing, even though I hadn't seen him all day. I traveled with only my mind! And this is because it was engaged in a positive activity focused on the heart rather than whatever the ego would've been harping on.

Try it. Do it now. Stop what you're doing. Close your eyes. Chant, mmmm, while focusing on the heart and visualizing red. Do it for ten minutes, then report back!

Before this morning's talk, in my meditation, I asked Sivananda if I am capable of achieving something I've been trying to achieve, so far with no success.

He showed me the entire peaceful, loving, earth living inside my body.

And I knew his message to me is, all is possible.