Chick Flicks and Why I Hate Them

At the risk of offending half the population of the world and those who love them, I’m going to share something about myself that will very likely cause you to think less of me …so much less of me.


I can’t stand chick flicks.

Telling people you hate anything Nora Ephron is associated with (Sleepless in Seattle …yak, You’ve Got Mail …really?) is equivalent to insulting the Dalai Lama.

You can’t do it.

People get offended because on some level they identify with the characters in these movies. But why identify with these losers? They incessantly agonize over some external thing they mistakenly believe will make them happy.

Nonsense.

They have a juvenile, misguided belief that a soul mate will keep them from having a wretched, lonely life and old age.

Ludicrous.

I can’t think of watching anything less interesting. Well, maybe golf.

Nora Ephron’s drivel paved the way for the mother of all God-awful chick flicks (or chick-cable-series-turned-flick), Sex and the City.

This franchise has set communication between the sexes back decades because men watch it thinking they’re gaining a better understanding of the women in their lives, or the women they hope to woo into their lives.

If this strategy sounds familiar, let me set some things straight for you:

• We have many and varied interests, throwing hundreds of hard-earned dollars away on over-priced shoes is not one of them.

• We don’t obsess about you all day, every day (sorry …).

• We don’t care about eating at the latest, priciest restaurants and being seen by people who do care about eating at the latest, priciest restaurants.

• We have goals beyond making ourselves attractive so you might spend two seconds of your day checking us out; goals that include performing well at our jobs, keeping up with world events, and being all-around useful members of our communities.

The characters in chick flicks are boring because the main goal in their lives is to land some guy so they can address a void they feel.

A guy will not do that for you.

It’s nice to have someone to share your life with, for sure, but believing it will stop you from feeling lonely is misguided.

The void is an illusion, something we need to manage to find out on our own. A partner can’t help with this.

These movies do men a disservice as well. The guy characters are basically zombies – hapless pawns in a game someone else signed them up for.

In real life, men are not just going along for someone else’s ride; they’re far more involved in landing a chick than these movies would have us believe. The women characters might be pushing all the buttons in the movies, but the male role in real life is more like the wizard from Oz than Aidan from Sex and the City.

When a guy likes a girl in real life, he’s got a dead-cold focus on every tool available to him to get her attention, and can masterfully make it appear as though he had nothing to do with the girl suddenly noticing him.

Men should embrace this skill. Own it. There’s no shame in it. It endears you to us – we love you for it!