Let Go of the Drama

A brilliant idea just came to me - I could drop a sugary ginger candy into my tea …make myself some sweet ginger tea.

When my mind finds ways to turn breakfast into dessert, I know I must be sad.

It makes me sad that the boy from Rutgers, Tyler Clementi, killed himself.

His privacy was invaded - a fundamental right taken from him. But from what I've read this isn't what affected him most.

When his roommate twittered about what was going on, someone asked the roommate how he'd bring himself to go back into that room.

I think that's the slap in the face that hurt Tyler most.

The roommate had done a stupid, immoral, hurtful thing. But, if people had rallied around Tyler at that point I believe, perhaps mistakenly but I still believe it, that Tyler could've made it.

Had he gotten support then, maybe there would have been a different outcome. Had someone responded differently to the roommate or even to the guy who implied Tyler and his behavior were so revolting he wouldn't want to be in the same room with him, who knows what might've happened.

Tyler went to an extreme, but we all allow others' opinions of us to affect us to a degree.

We all have a soft spot we don't want anyone touching.

Why do we do this? Why look to others to validate that we're good enough? That we deserve to live even?

Others, for the most part, are idiots. They're insecure and need to tear others down to feel better about themselves. They never stop being in second grade emotionally.

It's a mistake to depend on others' validation of us. Their opinions are based on nothing and often come from a bad place inside themselves.

Even people who mean well might not always say the right thing.

The best strategy is to not give an iota of energy to the things said by people you don't like. There's a reason you don't like them.

This is hard when our impulse is to prove they're wrong. But who are we trying to convince? More others.

Bottom line - screw others. Fuck 'em. Others are a bunch of idiots.

So, what do we do when we do feel badly about ourselves, for whatever reason, and we know enough not to look outside to the screwed up masses for validation?

Meditation.

That's right. I said it.

Meditation.

Meditation is hard because we have a habit of going to our favorite distractions (sugary, gingery tea, anyone?) when we don't want to face something. We squish it down with TV, Facebook, candy (ahem …) whatever.

But those are temporary fixes, and don't actually fix anything.

Distractions aren't allowed in mediation. So we resist. We resent. We don't want to!

But we should because in meditation, you let go of the drama, the story, and remember the truth - you are a perfect being.

You have not a single flaw. You shine so bright, insults and injury can't penetrate your light.

They bounce off before they can even come near you.

I wish I could've said this to Tyler. There's no way to know if it would've made any difference.

But I wish he knew the truth.

These are the lessons I've learned from yoga. Not the part that people are idiots - I added that.

This is why yoga - real, unadulterated, straight-up authentic yoga - is so powerful.
Let's not let go of the habit of doing yoga and sharing what we know.