The Pull of Clean Teeth

Tonight's commute home was interesting.

I've seen people do lots of stupid things while driving.

One morning I had to keep braking to stop myself from slamming into the person in front of me.

Was she drunk?

She was swerving. Slowing down, then speeding up.

It was stressful being behind this person.

I looked into her car to see what her problem was.

Mascara. She was applying mascara.

Really?

And she didn't stop, even after she saw that I'd spied her in her rearview mirror.

Tonight's idiot was flossing his teeth.

Not at a red light.

Not at a stop sign.

He was flossing while speeding.

I have to give him props though. Because the only reason I knew he was flossing is I saw him do it as I was passing him.

His driving completely unaffected by his spontaneous bout of dental hygiene, except when he suddenly slowed way down.

Must've gotten some floss stuck between his teeth.

He either was meeting someone he wanted to impress. Or, he has a syndrome.

I mean, I love to floss. But while driving? Who keeps floss in the car?

Do you think he's having an affair?

Would a man floss on his way home to his wife?

No.

He looked guilty of something. Why else would he need to clean his teeth? In the car?

I passed this guy right after I'd stopped at a gas station, where I very nearly asked the attendant for a grande, nonfat latte.

I wonder what percentage of our day we get through mindlessly repeating the same phrases again and again.

I wonder what percentage of our day we get through interacting with people having affairs who then feel the need to floss on their way home.

Maybe I'm being too hard on Floss Man. Maybe he'd just been to the dentist and gotten some bad news.

I should go brush my teeth - and floss.

Goodnight, my lovely blog-reading chickens.